Friday, January 30, 2009


so i am a big ball of crazy.

i'm sick. the book is due in 5 days.
.......i got sick during crunch time. great.

last night i had a very tough time sleeping. i'm a bit feeverish, so i had pretty intense chills. on top of that, my throat is slowly closing in on itself.

so this is where my craziness kicked in..

i was in and out of dreams all night about how if my throat really does close up, NO ONE would know and i would die a lonely lonely hag.

see, at first my dreams were about how i wake up panicked because i cant breathe... but since i live by myself, i have no one to help me. so i go to the front house where my landlord lives, to try to wake her up... but the damn dogs keep barking and jumping at me. i'm so weak and can't breath, i fall and die while the dogs lick my face.

i might have been crying in my sleep... hah!

i'm a very positive person, i swear.

then i was hallucinating about passing out in class because of lack of oxogen to my brain. my professor would have to call 911 and paramedics would come to save me. luckily, i was wearing one of my cute bras, so when they had to rip off my shirt i wasn't embarrassed.

one of my classmates, who was really zach braff (i've been watching A LOT of scrubs lately), performs CPR on me until the paramedics arrive, and stays with me while they take me to the hospital. i have emergency surgery to get my tonsils removed, and while i recover, i color correct images for the book in my hospital bed. by the way, my gown in the hospital was xmen themed. bamf.

like i said before, BIG BALL OF CRAZY.

i guess i'm just subconsciously weirded out because this is my first time being single in FIVE YEARS, i moved to a city where i know no one, and i'm living by myself for the first time.

i'm SO lame.

Have you ever closed your eyes and typed every thought that enters your head? i don't care what justin says, it's totally possible because i did it. i got so absorbed in my thoughts that before i knew it, 20 minutes had passed. it's crazy because i had no idea what i wrote down.

i wish i had the balls to post what i typed, it's just WAY too revealing.

you should try it, though. i highly recommend it.

i love my india group but geezus, if i'm not smiling for like longer than two minutes EVERYONE asks me what's wrong. i guess i should be flattered by their concern, but when the hell did i become the designated happy chick?

i fell asleep on the lawn chairs out by the pool on campus today.
it was amazing.

have you ever wanted to rip your clothes off and run naked? today was one of those days for me.
maybe that's the medicine talking.

can i just give a huge shout out to miss alexandria cesena...
i fucking love you. thank you for listening to all of my bullshit about school. you're the only one who really listens to me, and for that you should get a nobel peace prize. if i didn't have someone to talk to about it, i would have blown something up. i know half of the time you're humoring me, but it's the effort that counts.

i don't know how you put up with me.

i wish you were a dude.

and thanks to justin...
even though i can HEAR your eyes roll back into your head whenever i bring up anything about my book group bullshit, i appreciate the fact that you constantly try to distract me with funny anecdotes and food.

you keep me sane.

this is longer than i expected. . .



Ryan Ostorero said...

hey i listen too wtfff dude?


Justin said...

Bwahahaha to Ryan's comment.

And the typing thing works but only if you're a retard. ^___^ Love you.

I'm too open a person as is so there wouldn't be too much random typing going on for me. Except for that one time I kissed that gay guy. Hmm...

joshuaclason said...

This was very insightful amanda. I hope you get that damn book finished already!!